Sporty bet, Spotify and Vibes🕺🏽

I almost didn’t write this week’s newsletter, because of a lot of let-downs this past week. But then, if I don’t show up, who will share all the gist I have with you??!!!! I’m also happy I’m here cos in the end, it’s the consistency that counts😗.

Photo by Tim De Pauw on Unsplash

Hiiiii!!!😍 I’m so happy I’m back here todayyy. How are you and I hope you’ve not been having milky doughnuts?👀👀For me, it’s been one heck of a week and man, I’m not even sure where to start from in terms of explaining the things that occurred this past week. Before we go on though, in case you missed the last newsletter, it’s right here👇🏽

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Mondays, especially the mornings are officially my worst periods of the week. Prolly same for you too🤷🏽‍♀️. This last Monday ehn, na God save me o. First off, I almost fell off a moving BRT bus. It was so surreal. Pretty long story, but long story short sha, half my body was outside the bus and one foot was dragging along the concrete. I sha tried to hold on to one rail in the bus. People were shouting o, but the driver kept moving😭. When the driver eventually stopped, mehn, my whole body was vibrating o. See as death flashed before my eyes😪😂. As I was getting off the bus, - I got off o, I can’t comman die😭😂- people were now shouting at me. Hian! Screams in can I know my offence?

When I eventually got a proper bus, it was standing that was left o💔. Little did I know, that amazing sights awaited me as I stood😂😂.

Nigerians are the only set of people I know that you’ll ask about their welfare, and will respond to you by saying, ‘We bless God.’ You bless God as how na?😭. You and who maaaaa?😭😭 I hope say no be update wey no reach my side ? Una don dey bless God ni?😂😂

I never knew that corporate working individuals played sporty bet o. For a very very long time, I always assumed that it was workers in the informal sectors that did betting and those stuff sha. Dem no tell me say betting no get class o😂. On this fortunate Monday, I had to stand all the way to work sha and then, I was standing right behind this man who was sitting😒. Btw, this man was dressed in his full office regalia.. tie, blazer, everything.
Not like it was my fault or anything o, but my eyes and his tablet got connected somehow. At first, I didn’t even grab what this man was doing, cos he kept deleting some stuff on the page. I sha started to explore with my sharp glasses. Lo and behold, mister was deleting his losses from bets he had placed before🤣🤣. It was even on the sporty bet website. I been wan laff tire, but I had to keep my cool, so he won’t notice😌. His losses weren’t even all those big big money losses. Baba just dey do ₦200 bettings🤦🏽‍♀️. E tink say na all those ‘drop 2h, win 2m games’💔😂😂. But na smart guy sha. Make e no drop 20k one day, con lose am💔😂.

Random, but have you ever seen a mad woman before?? Me I haven’t o. At least, not in my x years of existence. Abi I haven’t existed long enough ni?🤔

We all have that one thing, or maybe ten things💀, that we’ve wanted to try out or learn but never ended up focusing on right? Since primary school, I’ve always wanted to learn knitting cos I had a bunch of classmates who knitted like crazy. Same in secondary too. Late last year sha, I decided to put action to my words. That’s how I went to buy knitting yarns and knitting pins too. I even downloaded a lot of Youtube how-to videos to let you know how serious I was.
Omo, I tried to knit o, the yarn and pin no gree for me o. Ahn ahn 😭. To make the first step sef - I’ve forgotten what they call it now- I battled with the pin o. I sha was able to knit a line, which i turned into a necklace. Now, I just hang it on my mirror and use it to store all my hijab pins😂. I even just opened a drawer recently and I saw my yarns💔. I finally agreed that maybe knitting wasn’t for me. If you want yarn sha, dm me on Substack, or leave me to bask in my failed attempts at knitting😌.

Do you fly bike? 👀

As in okada? Me, nope!! The last time I remember flying bike was prolly 2020. Now, I don’t even remember how to climb okada again. It’s not like I’m now driving o. Drive how abegg😂😂. But, I just told myself not to, and since then, I’ve successfully avoided them. Except once last year sha, when that was my last option💀.
I basically don’t fly okada again cos of the crazy dangers associated with it. I remember when I was younger, there was this girl, whose bone was affected cos of the exhaust from an okada😪. Another time too, mumsy hurt herself while climbing an okada. In fact, like 3 or 4 days ago, I witnessed one mini okada accident live. This okada man was carrying three school children.. one in front, two behind. Very very little children o. He was now passing one rocky, slopy area like that. Before I knew it, omo, the okada, rider and the kids toppled over and fell. Ye!😭My subconscious just registered- another amazing reason to avoid okada at all costs. It’s not my life that you people will use to play ludo🤲🏽💔.

…..Yesss! I actually made it to the end of this newsletter💃🏽. This has been the toughest so far in terms of editing, but then, we keep marching forward🫠.

This new week, I beg of you, don’t do ‘tojubole’ and chop deafing abeg🤲🏽. I can’t do justice for kinikan o.

If you can translate ‘tojubole’ for the non-yorubas amongst us, please put it in the comments abeg🤲🏽😂😂.

Till next week😗

Signed..
Dami🌹

Pssst, thank you for acting like you didn’t notice this drop on Monday🫂