Eyin ara ile o 🙇🏾♀️
I knowww😭 and I’m sorryyyyyy😭. I’ve starved y’all and I promise you I’m sowwyy 🥺. I’ve been away for definitely too long and I can’t apologize as much as I’d love to in words😪. Infact, send me your Opay😗. Lemme do you urgent tukay🕺🏽.
In all honesty, I’ve been so preoccupied that I’ve not had time for myself. My laptop was fixed about 5 weeks ago and this is the the third time I’m opening it💔. Me that opens laptop like a fridge full of food normally😂. Again, I know that no amount of sorries can justify my actions, but I’ve been going through a whole lot of processes and life-changing movements, that I’ve just not had enough time to settle and write to you properly. But nowwwww, Dami is backkkk!!!!!! In person and in spirit💃🏽💃🏽.
Over the 19 days that I was AWOL, a whole lot has happened. I’m so sad I cudun take you through the process, but at least I can give you the gist😗💃🏽.
First of uxt, Aku Eidi o. I know I’m the last person to wish you, but thennn, better late than never innit 🌚😂. I fell ill on the eve of Eid😪😂. My body seems to have the worst of timings fr! Last year too, I fell ill around Eid period. I had a big whitlow 💔. They even had to cut it open laslas😪. This year around, it was malaria coupled w some other tings. I even spent half of the day in the hospital, and trust the nurses to ask me for meat. Edakun, it’s my daddy’s ram o, not mine. Me that’s still begging for money to buy Chicken Republic 😭😂😂. At least, I didn’t have to do the cooking 🕺🏽. Small win there 🥂. I just slept like a baby😂.
This year, I actually took really cool pictures on Eid even with the illness. Rare occurence💔😂. Illness is temporary, steeze is eternal 😗. Omo, I posted them o. Maybe I’ll start posting my pictures more frequently sha🤷🏽♀️. One step at a fokin time🕺🏽. Yunno, asper trying out new things era✨. I seem to look more beautiful-er on the media. Nothing beats the Dami irl tho🤭😗. I somehow was able to gather enough mints for the D-Day. Trust your girl to use those mints to take picturessss🤭. I kuku love mints before😂. I’m saying mints asin new notes o just in case you didn’t get the gist🤲🏽😂. You can check them out on my insta here🤲🏽. Someone saw my pictures and said I’m shorttt😭. Forghusake, I’m not shortt, you’re just excessively tall baba😒😗. But am I short? Nah. It’s just how people see me. I’m the right height for my age group jare. If anyone calls you short, just tell them to stand beside Robert Wadlow. Radarada😒
Guess who I mettttt !!!!!🕺🏽🕺🏽. The number one contradictor of Emeka and Nkechi! Yasssss, Aproko Doctorrrr😭💃🏽💃🏽. I cudun screammmmm😭😂. Small backstory yeah. So, I was volunteering at a festival and I was a part of the registration team. Of cuss, I was at the entrance of the venue so I could see every person who was gonna come in🤭. That’s how there was no body to register in, and I was a little idle. So I was just staring around in broke idleness. The program was even in VI. Shebi if I had money, I for don book Uber, drop for Eric Kayser, chop one or twos, and come back sharp sharp. Sadly, money din dey.
Back to the story sha. I now saw somebody’s side figure who was talking with his team. Ahn ahn, is that not Aproko Doctor ni? With that his face mark😂. So that it won’t be like my glasses were made to deceive me, I asked the man beside me. Baba no even sabi😒😂. I sha carried my steeze and my self to this person. Omo, it was Aproko Doctor o🕺🏽😂. I couldn’t even scream.
I sha made the regular fan statements about how I love his work and then, asked him for a picture💃🏽. I would have shared it here, but you people can go and photoshop my face and put your own face there now😂😂. That picture hasn’t even seen the light of the media😂. Make e dey my archive of celebs for now biko🤲🏽.
For the first time in my life, I went to a spa and I didn’t go for excursion o😂. I went for spa treatment. Omo🕺🏽 Before you think I have money, baba na HMO pay o😂😂. Me wey no get shishi. Btw it was Reliance HMO. Tbh, those guys are really really good compared to a couple that my family has used in the past.
The spa experience was really tantalizing , even tho it was a tad bit weird. A total stranger having access to and touching my body🥴? Craze small. I sha had to learn to adjust o, cos this lady was massaging me like she was preparing me for butchery😭😂. If you want the name of the spa sha, just send me tukay. I can’t do free advertisements for them 😗.
On today’s episode of weird international happenings, I recently saw a couple of men who sagged their trousers and omo, I was shocked o. Men still sag in this era?? Mad oh! I thought sagging ended in the ‘18,' ‘19s. E still dey like mad. Maybe it’s the guy’s steeze sha. Each man and his mode of steeze😪😂.
Alsoooo, I saw a woman playing sporty. Ehnm?😭 That one shock me o icl. So e mean say Folorunsho Alakija fi dey play sporty, make we think say na legal doings dey bring the money😪. Omo! E go be sha😂
Love languages, love languages, love languages. What is yours? I don’t think I’ve been in love to know what love language it is for me, but I know what it is😗. Baba, it’s food o🤭😂. Food is my love language o. Acts of service ko😒. Uncle, bring food fess, you go sabi say I get endless love o😗😂. Anywho, what’s your love language and why is it not food? Ehn baby?
I’ve always loved adventures and travelling around the world is one thing that really excites me, even though flights scare me. How I wish there was a bus from Oshodi to Portugal😪. I’d be the number one patron fr! Anywho, since there’s no bus yet, planes it is🤲🏽. I recall my first international flight like it was yesterday. This was a trip to Dubai and it was a night flight! Oh Chim🙆🏽♀️. Things were going smooth until heavy turbulence started. Omo😂! Everybody was just screaming in the plane. Me? I was repenting guy. I can’t carry my sins to the greater beyond edakun🤲🏽😭. And I was still young o. 11 or so, I can’t vividly remember. How my obituary wan take be sef😭😂. Anyhow sha, I took a leap of faith and entered yaroplane again o. In fact, planes😭. Three to be precise.
On the first flight, I didn’t dare use their restroom o😭😂. That flushing sound dey fear me. Ghghr ghhrr😭. When small turbulence started like this, I was asleep, cos it was a night flight again. Omo, mo ta ji ni o. Sorry, I don’t know the literal translation. My heart first did like two gbim gbim before my eyes cleared. Make person jus dey pray. For the rest of the flights, omo I tried to stay awake o, but the forces of nature said nibo! I slept ehn and woke up occasionally when they were serving food. If you’re sleeping when they’re serving food, omo e no go reach your side o💔.
On the final flight, I mistakenly slept. Again. That’s how my eyes opened small and it was looking as if we were inside water. Everywhere was now dark again. As howw😭😭. And I didn’t listen when they were teaching us that safety thing o. Oh God! Ni last flight ehn. The person I would have asked beside me if we were landing abi na hallucination was sleepingg😭. I jus dey open and close my eyes make e no be like say my village people come meet me for air too. When we finally touched ground ehn. Oh Chim! Happiness wan choke me. No more planes till further notice edakun🤲🏽🥴.
By the wayyyyyy, have you listened to Benin Boyssss???? Nah, they ate fr!!! First song that has Shallipoppi in it that actually makes brain. It’s because of the Rema ingredient there sha, I can bet. And BAND4BAND too! Nah, those two songs are currently on repeat for me. They’re that good.
Oh yes! Chivido geng, how far?😂.
“If he doesn't cheat, he's not husband material”. Alaye shift joor 😒.
Now that I've given you all the gist, I hope your blood is cool now 🥺.
I’m already late for a party that started 2 hours ago, partly because I’ve been typing this to you. But thennnn, if I don’t show up late, how can they tell that I’m Nigeriannn?🤭😂
Bye my love and yes, I’ll be here next week.
Pinky promise 🫂
In fact, if you don’t see me next week, send Oro to my place to beat me.
Signed..
Dami🌹
Took u long enough