I've not had garri in a whole month
And no, I'm not sick
Before we dive in, how far? Like seriously... What’s going on in your life? The year is running by so fast that I often forget that we’re growing up fast too and our people are up to different things. Like, wasn’t it just yesterday I did 10 years birthday😭. Now, I’m telling my siblings, ‘when I was your age..’ What is thatttttt😭?
Welcome home guys. Wetin dey zuzu?🕺🏽 I’m so sorry my letters have been dropping on Mondays or sometimes, Tuesdays lately. It’s this time difference of a thing o. At home, I typically write on Sunday evening, but Sunday evening here is already Monday morning there. Person don already enter danfo for Lagos when I wan start to dey type. So, until I sabi this time difference thing wellas, make una no vex abeg.
By the wayy, have you listened to Rema’s new album? What are your thoughts on it? Me? I think it’s pretty chill, even though this one get violence o. Ah! Ni Rema na. I love Hehehe and Ozeba tho. Those two songs have made me act like a lunatic in public way too much😭. I need to understand his thought process behind this album though, cos the violence plenty abeg. Too much Benin boy energy in this one o. Hian! It’s kuku good sha. Make we no go think say na soft boy e be. But I lowkey expected it sha. After the collab with Shallipoppi, I knew sumn crazy was cominggg.
You know how the media portrays these countries abroad like they’re all that? Guyy, they’re not all that I swear. I’ve been out here for just a month, and I can categorically say that it’s not a paradise. It’s lowkey like living in V.I or Banana Island. Yeah, of course, they’ve got a lot of things right. The government and economy are in check of course, but guy, there are some things Tinubu’s place and here have in common.
First of all, are mosquitos😭. I thought I escaped those devils, but guy, it’s worse here. Not only mosquitos o, various types of insects. It’s majorly cos there are a lot of greens here and stuff. They take agriculture pretty seriously, so the insects are plentyyy. But at least, they’re just outside. Boundaries dey small. And yes, the mosquitos bite here. The only difference is that they don’t cause malaria. Their bites ehn, so big and red. And the mosquitos sef are fat. So easy to kill.
That’s how popsy was telling me yesterday, how he saw somebody at his mosque use tissue paper to kill mosquitos. As how na😭😂😂. Oyinbo people sha. I trust my Naija guys. In fact, my mum😂. The way she’s skilled at killing mosquitos ehn. Pa pa pa, the wereys done kpai. Tissue ko😂😂. Even their flies sef are lazy. Lack of hustle in their blood. You’d have to be so close to the fly, before it even decides if it wants to move away. Those ones at home, always on the move. You go dey do angle maths if you wan catch fly🤧😂😂.
And yes, trenches dey like die😂. They call it ‘downtown’. Abeg shift joor😂😂. Like say na Isale Eko vs Maryland thingss. Downton ko. Even though I’ve not been to these places like thattt, they exist guy. Make person no bobo you. One time sef in the night, I saw one homeless guy carrying placard and begging for money. My aunt now said that that’s how they do o. That after begging now, they’ll use the money for igbo. Wawu! So, it’s not only egbon adugbo ni sha😂😂. Is there an egbon adugo in your area? I didn’t grow up in the high browse areas of Lagos, so of course, our neighborhood had area boys. I was more of an ‘omo get inside’ until last year, so I never even even realised. It was last year I knew there was an egbon adugbo in our area, or maybe even egbon adugbos. Wo, na dem sabi. Somehow, in my 6 years of living there, I never encountered these people. Or maybe I saw them and it just didn’t register 🤷🏽♀️.
This gist, I can’t even type it cos it won’t convey the disgust in my tone😭😂
The kids here are too butty joor, I can’t even lie. Small thing, they are already crying. No hustle in their blood at allll. Hian! And they do too much ‘omugo’ moves jare.
Did you hear about the Trump shooting thing? I swear it was too funny😭😂😂. The guy wey shoot am get balls o. Ahn ahn. A whole ex-presido, na im e jus give stray bullet so. I no sabi why dem never try am for our own dear native land sha, with all the bandits wey we get🤧. It’s funny how he was still able to get a picture taken even after being shot. And the police guys there? Nahhh😂😂. That scene was like out of a movie frrr.
And now, Uncle Biden stepped down for Kamala. What a wawu sometin 😂. The guy sef don old jare. But na sharp moves sha. Learn from your nemesis tings. This one wey be say na Republican give Trump stray bullet, make e no be say na Biden pikin go pull the next one on him if e try run again😂😂
Another thing here, is that getting fat is so, so easyyy. Ah! Me that’s not tall already I should now get fat too. Haba. Na curse😂😂? The junk here is soo so accessible and has so much pr ehn, e go con be like say na person wey dey chop healthy dey snooze. For grocery store, the things wey go welcome you na chips. Ahn ahn😫. It’s banana I came to buy, why is there banana flavored ice cream at your entrance😭? Abeg o.
You see me? I won’t grow fat o. So I’ve started taking morning walks and going to the gym. That gym one tuff, but I dey try run am sha. Maybe I’ll not grow fat and maybee, I’ll grow tall too🤭. Until then sha, I’ll have to continue taking my fries with smoothie😗.
I know I’ve been ranting siince about this place, but maybe there’s one or two things that I like 🫣. Top on my list, is how when people visit, they come bearing giftss. Oh chim😭. Making me emooshunaaa 🥹. It’s most heartwarming when they come with food or snacks or something of the sort sha. Omo, see love o 🥹🕺🏽. It’s such a lovely thing icl. Very few people are intentional about it back home. Here, it’s like their culture fr. I like this kain culture. No be say you go come my yard, con chop, clean mouth, waka comot. It’s more like an unspoken tit for tat kinda thing here and I’m loving it guy. I remember when one of the guests brought a pack of tissue. Sir thank you o, but of all the things in that store, it’s only tissue you saw ni😭.
Oh yes, that reminds me. I want to get a cam. Maybe a small one to start with. I’m starting to get a bit more intentional with photography. For now, I’m big on nature photography, but I think I want to delve into other parts, and I doubt my phone will serve. If you have thoughts, please lmk. Kindly rememer that sapa is tight around my neck, so my funds are pretty limited. Make you no go recommend camera of $2000. Na God I wan use am snap? If you’re planning to visit me sha, you can bring this as a gift😗🤭. Thank you in advance😂.
I’ve not had garri in a whole month and it scares me like crazy. As a fully-bred Nigerian, it worries me that I’ve not wanted garri in 30 whole days. No be like say e no dey house o, e full ground. But I’ve just not felt like it. Ah🙆🏽♀️. When it’s not that I’m sick ehn. As somebody who drinks garri at least once a week, it’s funny to me o. Abi is it this junk food ni? E be like say I go drop Cheetos for who do am o. Forever a garri warrior🙅🏾♀️. Or is my body saying no to garri? No nau, e can’t be. How e wan take be sef? Maybe it’s just a break. By the time I get all the right ingredients now and make the fantabulous garrium, my body won’t resist. Talk about temptation🤭😂.
I didn’t realise how easy I’ve been having it, listening to jams, until my Spotify premium plan ended😭. Omo😂. My playlist first of all disappeared. Ahn ahn. Back and forth, back and forth, I couldn’t use my Nigerian Spotify account on free Spotify. Kai. But I didn’t have 900 to spare o. That’s how I had to create a new accountttt. After creating how many playlistssss😭😭. And paying for Spotify in foreign currency is just wild I swear. The difference ehn. You go first ask God, if you offend am. Cos why is foreign Spotify 12k+ when converted to naira? This same ₦900 plan😭??? Ah. It’s like I’ll go and hustle for 9h o. Cos this 12k is wild o. Ahn ahn.
Anywho, I’ve got to go to bed now, before I use somebody’s 9-5 to sleep again😪. But before I go, here are a couple of things I’m doing currently.
Current Read: The Kissing Booth 1 ( I watched the movie first, then I found the book, so we’ll see if the movie did justice to the book😗)
Watch: On My Block ( Crazy series, I can’t even lie)
Listen: Layi Wasabi on The 90s Baby Show podcast on Spotify free 😔
Well, au revoir for now and see you soon🫂.
Signed..
Dami🌹
What country are you innn?